Greetings from 2011!

Hello faithful readers,

I would go through the whole song-and-dance explaining why it's been so long since I last wrote and would follow that up with a pledge to regularly update, but let's be honest: the people who read this know me and understand what I've been up to the last 9 months. Here's a hint:

Abigail has done a pretty fair job updating you on Aveline from her blog, so you can read that if you're not up to date. I will say that Aveline is much more trouble now that she's crawling and grabbing and (very occasionally) standing up, but also much more fun. I do miss when she would lie down next to me while the video games were on, however.

At this point, I've almost taught her everything she needs to know, but now she needs to learn to use the controller, not eat it! Just kidding grandparents...she won't play those for a few years yet.

So aside from our little monkey, what's happened in the past nine months? For the first few months we settled into our new routine with her, and by the time Abigail went back to work I was totally an expert at being a dad. I'm kidding, but it really did surprised me how easy it is. People tell us that we are lucky to have such an "easy" baby, and that may be true, but I have noticed that babies can smell fear, just like werewolves. As long as Aveline knows that we're in control and that she's safe, she's generally pretty happy and calm. Exceptions include teething, the time I let her fall off  she totally jumped off the couch like a ninja, and a recent fever bug thingy, but in a general sense she is super happy, and so are we.

I think I started to talk about non-baby things, but that's sort of difficult. When I got married, I was annoyed the first few months when I would walk into a room and invariably hear one or more of the following: "Where's Abigail?", "How's married life?", and something to the effect of "Are you guys thinking about kids yet?". This was pretty annoying for a while but I got over it, and that's probably best since it prepared me for: "Where's the baby?", "Getting any sleep?", "When's the next one coming along?". I'm not kidding; that's really how it is, and because of it I haven't been too upset about missing social events (i.e. church). I'm never too upset about sleeping in on Sundays, but that's a whole other blog post.

So anyway, after the New Year, we were somewhat adjusted to parenthood and Abigail was back to work. Around February, I began to look into going back to school once again, and we did the budget to see if it would work. Without too much detail, we decided that I could work part time and go to school full time without any real hardship other than giving up my morning $4 coffee ritual. Bearing that in mind, I squared everything with the boss and registered for the Game Production program at Collins College, with the intent of starting full time in early March. Then I went back to the hospital.

Some time in March (I think the 8th, but it's fuzzy for obvious reasons), I was lying in bed with Abigail and Aveline not wanting to go to work. I guess God saw some humor in that because the next thing I remember was waking up in the ER of the hospital where Abigail works. I am told that I had 4 concurrent seizures and the doctor described the damage to my back (which was quite severe) as "sort of like getting in 4 car wrecks in a row." So instead of going to school, I stayed home for a couple of weeks. I started 2 online classes for the 10 week term instead, but my recovery time was cut a bit short when my boss resigned from his position. I learned about this on a Friday and due to a freakish sense of responsibility (thank you so much, parents!) I went back to work for a few hours a day in order to keep the new guy from drowning. I started physical therapy at about the same time.

A couple weeks later, Abigail and I decided I could quit work altogether and we would still be okay going to school, so I put in something like an 8-week notice and worked 3-4 days a week while going to physical therapy 3 times a week. My last day at the Marriott was May 25, although technically I am still on call should they need help. If you have a picture in your head right now of me growing a beard and playing games all day, go ahead and erase it. Abigail made me shave the beard after a week and a half and since school started I haven't had much time for gaming. I will do another blog post (possibly tonight) about school, but let me just say now that it's AWESOME!

This has run rather long, but I would be very thoughtless if I did not take the time to acknowledge the people that have been so supportive the past few months when I have really needed them. I do not have many friends for a reason: I prefer quality over quantity. My friends really stepped up to the plate, and Angela (my friend Matt's wife, and a friend in her own right) was there to drive me to work when I wasn't able to do it on my own. There were some days when I knew her schedule was tight and it was an inconvenience, but she did it gracefully and wouldn't even let me chip in for gas (she did let me buy her coffee on occasion). It was pretty depressing being stuck at the house, barely mobile, and Travis, Matt, and Andrew often visited or checked up on me when I needed it. Andrew even shared his DBacks fortune to take me to a few games, and managed not to injure me too severely during the 7th inning stretch!

My mother deserves a special mention for essentially living with us for about a month and a half. I think it's fair to say that the situation wasn't ideal for anyone, but she not only helped me move about when I needed it and took care of Aveline, she got up with her during the night and put her own plans on hold when ours changed. Abigail's parents were also there for us in different ways; they also watched her when needed and Al actually took care of the weeds in our yard when I wasn't able to (as did my brother Tim on multiple occasions!). I'm very thankful that Aveline has grandparents and other family that she can depend on when her daddy is being high maintenance!

Most importantly, however, I am so thankful for Abigail's constant support. She has supported my decision to go back to school from the beginning and has worked hard with me (I live here too so I get 1% credit) to redo our budget in order to make it possible. When I was hurt and unable to do much, she was very good with the situation and took great care of me, but did not let me fall back on my physical therapy and made sure I continued to move around and take care of things. It has not been an easy 3 months, but she has been invaluable. I think I'll keep her.

Okay, well I think that pretty much brings you to speed. I'll try to post at least one or two more topics in detail, but if not...see you in 9 months or so (no that is not a hint)!

Stay frosty,

Scott

xkcd Rules!

I have wanted to update this for a while, but to be honest, I've either been too busy (often) or too lazy (almost as often). That being said, here are a couple of xkcd comics that will more or less take care of this post.

                                                                                       (this panel especially)

Reset Button

The reset button is a great invention in gaming. It's the last-ditch, "oh holy crap something bad is happening" moment that saves you from total humiliation at the hands of an overwhelmingly powerful foe...and for most it is likely the 357th time this has happened. If you're cool and remember the NES, it's also one of many ways you try to get your game to work. You pushed the reset button about 30 times in a row (extremely quickly when your mom wasn't in the room to say "When you break that, you're not getting another one!"), and blew on the cartridge, and hoped to play Contra yet again.

Life has no reset buttons in theory, and if they did, you would hope that there was a password system or something to start you about where you wanted. I would rather deal with things now then have to start from birth all over again, even if I had all the knowledge I have now. However, once in a while I believe God gives us the break we're looking for. It could be an "extra life" when you know you shouldn't have survived a car accident or illness, or a "warp pipe" that takes you to a promotion or state in life quickly and unexpectly. It might just be a "shield boost" that gives you extra toughness and courage to get through a rough patch in your life, or perhaps the strength to help someone else with theirs (if you're the person getting help, then it would be an "assist" power up). 

In my case, it seems like after just over six years of waiting, God has given me a reset button. I will explain (briefly) what I mean. I had a grand mal seizure in December 2003, just after school let out for the semester. My entire brain was affected, but in different ways. In the short term I had some memory loss and disorientation that was normal, and I wasn't allowed to drive for 3 months (which was interesting, since that's when I started my relationship with Abigail). 

The real problem has been the effects on my cognitive skills. People that knew me well before the seizure will understand this (I hope) better, and unfortunately that doesn't include my wife. I have never at any time since then really felt like myself. That doesn't mean I have been unhappy, but because my intelligence and creativity are such defining characteristics of my sense of self, I knew I would not be happy until I was able to be at my full potential.

I am on a new medication now (Keppra) that works in a different part of my brain; the part that has sustained some long-term damage. I was sick for the first couple of weeks, and Matt's wife Angela who works with me has been (to risk a great understatement) a godsend in carpooling with me and even taking me to the doctor as needed. In the past few days, I have really started to feel less sick, and on the heels of that, I have started to notice a change in my thought patterns. It is hard to describe, save to say it's like sitting in the driver's seat of your car, and realizing that someone snuck into your garage and tuned it up overnight. Nothing was upgraded per se, but everything just...feels better.   

In anticipation that this might happen, and in part to help, I started a creative writing class this semester. I am now finished with the second week and it is going very well so far. I wrote a lipographic poem in which I rewrote "Little Miss Muffet" but removed "I" and "U." The satisfaction I felt in that silly little poem might sound strange to you so I won't go too much into it, but there was something so tremendously satisfying in finally writing something after all these years.

My apologies for the length of this post. It is my hope, though, that these will be a more regular thing and thus not necessarily as long each time. Hope you like the new layout!

Did you think I was lost?

Greetings, blog people!

I'm not even sure when the last time I wrote was. I'm sure I could minimize this and check, but where's the fun in that? The important thing to all of you, my loyal readers, is that once again you get to partake in another installment of my blog. So get comfy, put your feet up (or not, it doesn't really matter on this end), and enjoy.

I literally just took my final for math, which means it is all over for this semester. YAY!!! I passed the class too, so that means that I am all done with math for my degree (BA in Psychology). Math has always been my weak area simply because I never really had the patience for it. I once got tested for cognitive awareness/ability as a "Balanced with right brain tendency" type of person. The right brain-among other things-is the creative side of your brain, so basically that test said I don't lean heavily toward cognitive or creative dominance, but may find that certain things come more naturally in the latter area than others. My preference for writing and music (for example) as opposed to math would be a great example of this.

So now I get to register (like I should have already) for classes next semester that will in theory be much more pleasant for me to take. The downside is that I can't take any more at MCC, so I have to actually take the remaining classes I have at ASU, where they are much more expensive. Hurrah. If anyone is heading up a foundation or has an eccentric uncle with thousands of dollars they want to put to good use, please feel free to send some goodwill my way.

Let's see, in other news...it's really been a while so let's sum up. Holidays: Halloween- missed it b/c I was doing math, Thanksgiving- awesome; we had our family (Abigail's and mine) over here and good times were had by all, Hanukah- not Jewish. So that's all the holidays I can think of up to this point.

Holidays to come will be action-packed. I'm solo Christmas Eve since the wife's working, so I'm likely going to church somewhere and then who knows? I may paint the town red and green, drink a little egg nog...actually I'm probably going to my parents house and reading for a while. But I'll stay up til midnight!

New Years we'll continue our tradition (I think this will be year 3) of going to our friends Matt & Angela's house and playing games all night with them. I am looking forward to this, as we're already planning the menu...ribs cooked in Matt's smoker. Well also for the fun and good times-no seriously it's the food.

I can't really think of anything else at the moment, so I'll sign off for now. I wish you all a Merry Christmas, or whatever miscellaneous holiday message applies to you.

24

I love video games. Let's just get that out of the way right now in case you're reading this blog for the first time and you don't know me personally. I am an avid gamer and have been since my brother Phil first introduced me to the NES in the really early 90's. At least those are my first gaming memories; the first games I remember are sports games (Tecmo Bowl and Mike Tyson's Punch Out!), which is a little funny since I don't play those sort of games too much now.

Video games are fun, of course, and that is the main reason I play them in my adult life, but there are other reasons. They are diverting, which is nice when I am stressed and need to think about something other than work or interpersonal drama for a while. In the game world, if I lose a battle I have the opportunity to play it over again as many times as I need to until I progress, but of course in the real world I have to be able to have the right answer and response to every situation right away. Although I am frustrated by having to do something over while I am absorbed in the game, sometimes the repetition is good to take my mind off of things.

My favorite type of game would have to be the Role Playing Game (RPG) genre, like Final Fantasy. The typical formula has the protagonist gradually learn of their part in a larger destiny and they usually lead the fight against a great threat or evil against the world/universe. At the beginning of many of these games a lot of these protagonists are lost, like they are waiting for something. I think a lot of us feel like that sometimes; I know I do.

I turned 24 last Thursday, which in itself is not particularly impressive, I know. However, I have really had the chance to think about my life thus far and tried to ask myself if I would have done anything differently. One of my favorite exercises as a writer in coming up with plot points is looking at alternate universes from my own life and following them, like if I'd never been born or if I'd moved to Oregon instead of Mesa.

Most people make New Years' resolutions, but I decided I would make a few birthday resolutions. I want to do a few things better at 24 that I was dissatisfied with at 23.
1) I want to be a lot better about staying in touch with people.
2) I need to do more writing (including this blog).
3) I should work harder on my schoolwork. It will only get more intense soon and
I know that I can't afford to waste any time.
4) I have to take better care of myself by going to the gym and eating better.
5) I want to start learning the guitar again.
These are the things that nag at me and I'm always thinking "I need to work on that." I want to be better in all my relationships and be generally happier. I want to learn some new things, and eventually (I know it won't happen in the next year) get my degree. It doesn't necessarily matter that I don't yet know what specifically I want it for; I have a good feeling that I will find out along the way.

I do know that I am happy right now (although I am definitely in need of the vacation we're about to take), and Abigail and I have made a great life together in the past three years. I want to improve some things in myself just as Abigail and I want to change things in our life together (having a baby, for instance). One of the things I have thought about is that it's okay to be unsatisfied and still happy; they're not mutually exclusive. Constantly wanting to improve your life and going after something more is a very good thing, but only if you are able to be happy with what you have.

Abigail is in the habit of putting thematic songs in her blogs, so I will put one here that's been on my mind. We won a CD while we were at Family Camp, Third Day's "Revelation," and the very first track is called "This Is Who I Am."

I'm a son of a good man
I'm the child of an angel
I'm the brother of a wild one
And I'm looking for direction
I'm the lover of a beauty
I'm the father of blessings
I'm a singer of a love song
But is that all I'm good for

Chorus
This is who I am
This is who I am
So take me and make me something so much more
This is who I am
This is who I am
So change me and make me someone better than before

I'm a saint and a sinner
I'm a lover and a fighter
I'm a true believer, with great desire
I'm a preacher of grace, prophet of love, teacher of truth
I've fallen down so many times
But here I stand in front of you

Chorus

Take me as I am
But please don't leave me that way
'Cause I know that you can make me better than I am today

Chorus

I believe God has a plan for me, and if it's to be a great, famous writer or psychologist then that's awesome. If I'm just supposed to be a good man, and somehow that helps someone, then I'm okay with that too. That will be hard enough for anyone to do anyway. :-)

Whoa now, slow down there horsey!

I think one of the reasons people get so stressed is because of the deadlines we set for ourselves, whether consciously or unconsciously. We set timetables and routines on our lives to give us structures and meanings. These help us get out of bed every day and get us places on time; they give us the persona of a reliable human being.

The problem is that in a very short time all of us can become locked into and even dependent on these deadlines and structures we put on our lives. Example: getting up at exactly the same time every day to shower, shave, eat something quick, get in the car and take the exact same route to work listening to the same radio station. Then going to work where you most likely do essentially the same thing each day to end at approximately the same time to go back home the same way (still listening to the same station). In this scenario, you might change from your work clothes (or at least change the shirt), but then you go right to your computer. If it's a laptop, you bring it near the TV and you blog/Facebook before eating dinner; married or not. You probably eat, then you check the Internet stuff again before going to bed. You do it all again the same day.

In this scenario, I don't say you necessarily meaning "you" the reader, but it definitely doesn't apply to me. If you look at my posting dates you can tell I rarely go on here, although I really should do it a tad more than I have been. My wife is an avid internet poster, on the other hand, and you can always tell what's going on with us through her. Her habits are pretty standard, but I start to get stuck in a rut if everything gets to be routine like that.

I compulsively change my habits to avoid that sort of rut. I randomly change the time on my alarm (although I make sure I still get to work on time), and sometimes hit snooze. Sometimes I shower at night, sometimes in the morning. Although I usually go the same way to work in the morning (it works, and getting there on time is important), I generally have about 4-5 different routes home to choose from. I usually listen to sports talk radio, but sometimes I don't. Sometimes I drive in silence; or I listen to something else. There are a few things I do in the same order each day at work, but I usually do things differently each day. I don't like my job very much, so if I can at least mix things up it makes it a little more bearable.

It sounds weird and crazy, but consider how much control you really have over your life. Wouldn't it be nice to break out of the routine you've put yourself in and just find a new way to do what you're already doing? It may not even be the most efficient way, but it gives you the opportunity to be creative in a way you are not often able. Something to think about.

So anyway, all that just gushed out of me; the title of this is more related to another thought altogether. A lot is happening this year, and it's almost July already! Sheesh! In this half of the year, Abigail's already finished nursing school and taken her boards, both Matt & Angela and Abigail and I have bought houses, my mom is choosing another career, my dad has changed to another department, two of my brothers got laid off, my older sister bought and sold a house (moved to another part of CO), my little sis is now a senior in high school, Travis is leaving next month for the Army, my dog moved in with us, and I traded in the PSP!

That is the first six months in a very small nutshell, but it's been an interesting ride. I just want a breather week...can I just take a week off to play the X box and not have anything interesting happen? I really miss my X box, and the halcyon days of youth.

Behold, the shiny newness!

You have all waited patiently, although some more than others, and now I have unveiled my new creation: the newest incarnation of the Scott Blog! In all seriousness, this has actually taken me a few days to put together, so I hope you like it. Part of the delay was all of the archived postings from my old MySpace blog, which my subscribers may have noticed already. If not, check the Blog Archive on the right side and you will notice 17 "new" posts in addition to this one.

I manipulated the post dates (and times) so they would come out as if they were posted on the day I had posted the original entry on MySpace. You're impressed, I know. The reason for that is I have finally done what I've been saying I'd do all along and deleted my MySpace account. Didn't see any use for it any more so I cut off the dead weight, so to speak. Now all I have is this and Facebook. Some day I may get a Twitter account, but that's not a huge priority right now.

Hopefully someone else appreciates the new game on here as much as I do...it has penguins!!! I didn't get rid of Hangman; it's just on the bottom now. I may put it back on the top but under Conquer Antarctica...any thoughts? I'm really pleased with how this has turned out and I hope you are too. Please be sure to let me know what you think as I've worked hard the last few days.

Lastly, I did run a spell check on the old entries but aside from that they are there just as I wrote them then, so feel free to comment on them. It was a fun treat to go back and look at some of my thoughts during the past couple of years. Unfortunately due to formatting errors with Word I actually lost the very first two or three I made, but oh well; I got most of them.

Can you feel the electricity in the air?

Something is coming...you can feel it in the currents as they rush toward you on the morning breeze. A very special blog update will be coming soon that will overshadow all my other blog updates, and make you feel all warm and tingly inside when you see it. In the meantime, take a few minutes and enjoy the first part of a few hours of my time; the updated Picasa albums! Go down this page and you will see my links on the right side; you can access the public page from there.

The aforementioned update should be on here by Saturday night. I know you're breathless with anticipation, but please stop flooding me with all of the E-mails and comments you've been sending me up to this point, okay? It's embarrassing. :-) (I'm pretty sure no one reads this...)

PS- The new profile picture is from Prom 2004. Yes, I know, very James Bond; that really is a Walther I'm holding.