I suck at keeping in touch. I'm not totally sure why that is, but it's something I've discovered in the past year or so. I'm sure most of you who will read this will have discovered it much sooner.
I moved around a lot as a kid and didn't have many friends until I got to high school, so keeping in touch wasn't something I thought much about. My older siblings were much older and kind of abandoned me when I was still pretty young (stupid getting older and living their own lives).
I have always thought of myself as being a pretty dependable person, but now I'm not so sure. I think I'm still a good go-to guy in a crisis situation, but I've noticed I really don't do too well in day-to-day things. For example, I essentially got fired from teaching my small group at church after two years. On the surface this is so I can find a new job and finally have some personal time (they probably shouldn't have even asked me to do it in the first place), but still. I've never been fired from anything before and it's kind of sad.
I'm the first one to recognize the fact that in a lot of ways I've been lost for a few years as far as my self-identity goes. I think that happens to a lot of us. I was talking to someone not too long ago who wanted to go back to high school because of how much more things made sense then. I disagreed at the time, although it was kind of nice how compartmentalized our world was then. Everyone we could conceivably want to see or speak to was most likely encountered in the span of 1st to 6th hour, or at least at lunch. It was a lot easier to keep in touch.
As far as identity goes, though, the person you were in high school died once you graduated, or at least they should have. You're not allowed on campus anymore for the most part and there's a very good reason for that. There is a whole world out there that you're a part of now for better or worse. Adulthood isn't compartmentalized into 1st through 6th hour (well maybe college for some, but after that!). It's unpredictable, and completely insane, and it constantly tests you. It is still easy to stay in touch, but only if you're in the habit.
I am still really fortunate, and in a weird way I think God likes me. (shrugs) My family is amazing. I have the benefit of being married to my favorite person, even though hobby wise we have absolutely nothing in common. Between her parents, my parents, and some of my friends', I have a few great moms, and a couple of awesome dads. There's always someone to take care of me, which is handy since I frequently seem to need it. I also still have a handful of good friends, some of whom I actually still talk to when I remember.
That brings me to my original point: I suck at communicating. Don't hold it against me too badly and keep me in prayer (or whatever you do). I really want to work on a couple of things in my life, and one of them is my dependability especially to my friends. So don't give up on me, okay? And if you have, and you're reading this, maybe give me another chance. I'm feeling pretty down lately and I could always use another person around to lean on.
sometimes I get the feeling
that I won't be on this planet for very long
I really like it here
I’m quite attached to it I hope I’m wrong
all I really want to say
is you're the reason I want to stay
I loved you before I met you
and I met you just in time 'cause there was nothing left
from Ben Folds, "Don't Change Your Plans"
Stay cool kids, and remember to floss and all that other important stuff. Have a safe Labor Day weekend!
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